Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Secret Santa Picture Gift Swap

This is my first blogging Christmas and thanks to the hard work and dedication of Bee, at Bee’s Musings, I received an invitation to join in on the “Secret Santa Can Suck It” picture gift swap.
Out of the hat came a fellow blogger’s name I had never heard of before, but I was excited to learn all I could to search for the perfect gift to give.

So I put on my hiking boots and headed out to Bum Fuque Egypt where this blogger resides. It didn’t take long to find my blogger, once I was in the Hillbilly sticks I asked directions and was told to follow the empty beer cans and they’d lead me right to the asshole. (BTW … this has already become an adventure for me. Just visiting my Secret Santa recipient has influenced my blogging style … two curses in the same paragraph is a new record for me.)

I learned quickly that my new blogger friend was in desperate need of help. From the far side of the chicken coop I witnessed a crafty old fox, a wounded duck and a maniacal woman with a gun. I hit the dirt and snake-crawled back to my computer.

I have got to come up with the perfect gift for a lady that calls herself an asshole, has a welcoming song on her blog about an asshole, loves sushi, loves vampires and shoots guns. DUCK!!! … No seriously, get up, she’s not here … but …I did decide on the perfect gift thanks to that DUCK!! WAIT! COME ON PEOPLE GET UP! I told you she's not here.


Meet Sassy … from none other than … Sassy & Opinionated. Sassy, right now is in the middle of a crisis. There’s a fox visiting her henhouse. Worst of all, the damn fox attacked and wounded her duck. This fox is very smart and has escaped the crosshairs of Sassy’s gun.

My Secret Santa gift to Sassy is a masterful plan, along with the backup needed to rid her of this fox. I’ve hired a team of specialists and spent time and money developing a master plan.

THE TARGET … MR. FOX


Michael? No … not that one.


Wait, yes! Hmmmm. Vivica? No. Sorry.

That's him! Caught in the act by one of our field photographers on our surveillance team, cleverly disguised so not to arouse suspicion.



THE DECOYS

Our wounded duck is currently in the hospital ...
... being cared for by the distinguished Dr. Quack

THE PLAN

The plan is to substitute a decoy in the barn …

We will also use a fake Dr. Quack. Again … so not to arouse suspicion.

Our professionally trained team members are strategically positioned in the field and are on high alert.







THE TRAINING

Be assured … Lots of preparation has gone into this operation, including and not limited to role playing techniques and battlefield advice from the distinguished General Fox Terrier.


Once the target is spotted we will spare no effort to complete our mission.
Air support will be brought in to dispose of the culprit and life will once again be good.



THE GIFT ... A SAFER HOMESTEAD

Sassy, don’t fear. All the horses, sheep, dogs, cats, chickens and “Ducky” will someday soon be safe from Mr. Fox.
So put down your gun, pop open a beer and gather the family to sing some asshole songs.
Your Secret Santa will take care of everything.

Oh ...I also got you a stocking stuffer.
Offering Rodney and Carrington songs on your blog like "Letter to My Penis" ...
I thought you might like to listen to something similar but different.
Turn up your speakers and ... Enjoy!



"Wishing a very joyful Merry Christmas to Sassy and her Family"
... Practically Joe

Hey! If you like to see what my Secret Santa gave to me ... CLICK HERE!

123 comments:

Queen Goob said...

HEY.....come check out my secrest santa gift swap!

Queen Goob said...

LOL.....You QUACK me UP!

Merry Christmas, Joe....this was the most fun I've had all week!

Anonymous said...

Joe, I have to say "Thanks" I love my gift. It actually maded me laugh so hard my tummy hurts. Ducky says "Quank You"!

Sassy

Jaime said...

That was great! Perfect gifts for Sassy

Bee said...

That was hilarious! Great job. :o)

I love the detachable penis!!

Uh, the song I mean.

Practically Joe said...

Queen Goob: "LOL.....You QUACK me UP! Merry Christmas, Joe....this was the most fun I've had all week!"
me: Queenie ... I just loved the Secret Santa stuff you got for me. You're the best!

To see what I got CLICK HERE!

Practically Joe said...

Sassy & Opinionated: "Joe, I have to say "Thanks" I love my gift. It actually maded me laugh so hard my tummy hurts. Ducky says "Quank You"!
me: Sassy, it was great reading your blog and getting to know you. I'm happy you had fun with it. I will add your blog to my reader and come visit you again.

Jaime: "That was great! Perfect gifts for Sassy"
me: And my wife says I don't know how to shop!

Bee: "That was hilarious! Great job. :o) ... I love the detachable penis!! ... Uh, the song I mean."
Me: Of course. Bee. Of course.

Anonymous said...

I think that's the same Dr Quack that worked as a locum at the gimcrack last year

musingwoman said...

Wow, you could start your own business, now, and be a Professional Fox Remover!

Meg said...

Great gift. Your logistical skills are amazing!

And I think the dude singing the song is kind of cute--but I'd prefer him with his penis.

Megan said...

Great job with this! Jeez the blogworld is full of clever, funny people!

Ms Scarlet said...

Always good to have a plan Joe... now what am I doing....?
Sx

Anonymous said...

OMG... two bad, naughty words in one paragraph????

I think this is a super cool idea!!

Merry Christmas, Joe!

Anonymous said...

cheapest xanax xanax effects eyes - xanax xr 2mg dose

Anonymous said...

xanax causes xanax withdrawal xanax withdrawal - xanax bars bad

Anonymous said...

order valium does medication valium do - valium usa

Anonymous said...

buy valium online mask valium drug test - buy valium online co.uk

Anonymous said...

lorazepam no prescription 4mg ativan high - buy ativan online uk

Anonymous said...

buy xanax bars xanax hangover cure - xanax online

Anonymous said...

xanax online buy xanax online no prescription australia - xanax side effects .25

Anonymous said...

buy soma generic buy cheap generic soma - soma drug test how long does it stay in your system

Anonymous said...

carisoprodol soma where to buy soma online overnight - carisoprodol dosage get high

Anonymous said...

buy ambien online no prescription buy ambien online overnight delivery - ambien side effects yahoo

Anonymous said...

online soma soma drug ancient - carisoprodol 125mg

Anonymous said...

cheap generic soma generic of soma - buy saizen somatropin

Anonymous said...

buy ambien online without prescription ambien dosage airplane - ambien pill appearance

Anonymous said...

buy soma carisoprodol legal status - do drug test test soma

Anonymous said...

order zolpidem zolpidem tartrate 10 mg tablet picture - buy ambien cr online

Anonymous said...

buy ambien online buy ambien online india - ambien orb for sale

Anonymous said...

soma carisoprodol carisoprodol 350 mg addictive - soma medication coupons

Anonymous said...

generic valium names buy valium uk 2012 - valium effects kidneys

Anonymous said...

buy valium online generic valium does look like - generic version valium

Anonymous said...

valium generic what color is valium 10mg - valium dosage in cats

Anonymous said...

Blogger: Practically Wisdom - Post a Comment buy meridia - meridia online http://www.meridiaordernow.com/#meridia-online

Anonymous said...

Blogger: Practically Wisdom - Post a Comment cheap acomplia - purchase acomplia http://www.a6soft.com/#purchase-acomplia

Anonymous said...

Blogger: Practically Wisdom - Post a Comment cheap soma online no prescription - generic soma for sale http://www.emprendiendoideas.com/#generic-soma-for-sale

Anonymous said...

Blogger: Practically Wisdom - Post a Comment ativan online - buy ativan online http://www.ativanonlineoffer.com/#buy-ativan-online

Anonymous said...

Blogger: Practically Wisdom - Post a Comment buy acomplia rimonabant - cheap acomplia http://www.a6soft.com/#cheap-acomplia

Anonymous said...

Blogger: Practically Wisdom - Post a Comment cheap acomplia - purchase acomplia http://www.a6soft.com/#purchase-acomplia

Anonymous said...

Blogger: Practically Wisdom - Post a Comment acomplia pills - buy rimonabant online no prescription http://www.a6soft.com/#buy-rimonabant-online-no-prescription

Anonymous said...

Blogger: Practically Wisdom - Post a Comment soma medication - carisoprodol no prescription http://www.emprendiendoideas.com/#carisoprodol-no-prescription

Anonymous said...

Blogger: Practically Wisdom - Post a Comment soma online pharmacy - soma pills http://www.emprendiendoideas.com/#soma-pills

Anonymous said...

Hi, MoxoredapeTox generic propecia online no prescription - buy propecia online without prescription http://www.bigdocpoker.com/#buy-propecia

Anonymous said...

Hi, MoxoredapeTox accutane sale - cheap accutane no prescription http://www.josoclasolucio.com/#purchase-accutane

Anonymous said...

Injectable Medicine For Lupus discount prednisone - generic prednisone http://www.prednisone4sale.com/#generic-prednisone

Anonymous said...

Tongkat Ali Benefits Traditional Medicine cheap generic prednisone - cheapest prednisone http://www.prednisone4sale.com/#cheapest-prednisone

Anonymous said...

Hello, propecia online - cheap finasteride http://www.bigdocpoker.com/#order-propecia-online-no-prescription

Anonymous said...

January Medicaid Ndc Drug Claim buy rimonabant online - acomplia 20mg pills http://www.buydiscountedisotretinoin.net/#acomplia-20mg-pills

Anonymous said...

Covance Medicine buy generic acomplia - generic acomplia rimonabant http://www.buydiscountedisotretinoin.net/#generic-acomplia-rimonabant

Anonymous said...

Pain Medication For Pet rimonabant online - acomplia 20mg http://www.buydiscountedisotretinoin.net/#acomplia-20mg

Anonymous said...

Pain Medicine Doctors Columbus Ohio buy acomplia online no prescription - acomplia for sale http://www.buydiscountedisotretinoin.net/#acomplia-for-sale

Anonymous said...

Hello, buy atorvastatin no prescription - cheap atorvastatin online http://www.costoflipitoronline.net/#cheap-atorvastatin-online

Anonymous said...

Hello, cost of lipitor - atorvastatin price http://www.costoflipitoronline.net/#atorvastatin-price

Anonymous said...

Hello, lipitor for sale - lipitor online http://www.costoflipitoronline.net/#lipitor-online

Anonymous said...

advitleva generic quetiapine - order seroquel http://www.seroqueldiscounts.com/

Anonymous said...

advitleva seroquel no prescription - seroquel online http://www.seroqueldiscounts.com/

Anonymous said...

Free Drug Guide Sites topamax medication - where to buy topamax http://www.topamaxbetterprice.com/

Anonymous said...

Free Drug Handbook Online purchase topamax online - discount topamax http://www.topamaxbetterprice.com/

Anonymous said...

Pamlico Internal Medicine purchase topamax no prescription - purchase topamax http://www.topamaxforless.com/

Anonymous said...

Truth About Penis Enlargment Pills topamax medication - where to buy topamax http://www.topamaxforless.com/

Anonymous said...

Diabetes Mellitus Medication topamax online - buy topamax no prescription http://www.topamaxforless.com/

Anonymous said...

Cardiopulmonary Drug Guide imitrex price - sumatriptan price http://www.brawr.net/ - [url=http://www.brawr.net/]sumatriptan no prescription [/url]

Anonymous said...

2008 Drug Patent Expirations zyprexa sale - zyprexa without prescription http://www.perfectshutdown.com/, [url=http://www.perfectshutdown.com/]olanzapine no prescription [/url]

Anonymous said...

Drug Killer generic reductil - buy sibutramine online no prescription http://www.meridiaonlineorder.net/#buy-sibutramine-online-no-prescription , [url=http://www.meridiaonlineorder.net/#sibutramine-diet-pills ]sibutramine diet pills [/url]

Anonymous said...

Drug Legality By Country meridia without prescription - generic reductil http://www.meridiaonlineorder.net/#generic-reductil , [url=http://www.meridiaonlineorder.net/#buy-sibutramine-online-no-prescription ]buy sibutramine online no prescription [/url]

Anonymous said...

Tantulas Medicine buy cheap meridia - order sibutramine http://www.meridiaonlineorder.net/#order-sibutramine , [url=http://www.meridiaonlineorder.net/#meridia-diet-pills-online ]meridia diet pills online [/url]

Anonymous said...

Cardamon And Chinese Medicine Treatments reductil for sale - buy reductil online no prescription http://www.meridiaonlineorder.net/#buy-reductil-online-no-prescription , [url=http://www.meridiaonlineorder.net/#meridia-diet-pills ]meridia diet pills [/url]

Anonymous said...

Drug Use And Pregancy meridia no prescription - buy sibutramine without prescription http://www.meridiaonlineorder.net/#buy-sibutramine-without-prescription , [url=http://www.meridiaonlineorder.net/#generic-meridia ]generic meridia [/url]

Anonymous said...

2, buy avanafil - buy avanafil online http://www.stendraonlinecost.com/#buy-avanafil-online , [url=http://www.stendraonlinecost.com/#cheap-stendra-online ]cheap stendra online [/url]

Anonymous said...

2, buy stendra online no prescription - purchase stendra online http://www.stendraonlinecost.com/#purchase-stendra-online , [url=http://www.stendraonlinecost.com/#stendra-online-pharmacy ]stendra online pharmacy [/url]

Anonymous said...

2, buy ambien online without prescription - ambien for sale online http://www.opensourcewcms.com/#ambien-for-sale-online , [url=http://www.opensourcewcms.com/#buy-generic-ambien-online ]buy generic ambien online [/url]

Anonymous said...

t, purchase levitra - price of levitra http://www.levitrapillsforsale.net/#price-of-levitra , [url=http://www.levitrapillsforsale.net/#vardenafil-for-sale ]vardenafil for sale [/url]

Anonymous said...

tfv lamisil pills without prescription - lamisil medication http://www.lamisilonlinerx.net/#lamisil-sale, [url=http://www.lamisilonlinerx.net/#lamisil-sale]buy generic lamisil [/url]

Anonymous said...

tfv buy maxalt online - buy cheap maxalt http://www.maxaltonlinesale.net/#maxalt-price, [url=http://www.maxaltonlinesale.net/#maxalt-price]buy generic maxalt [/url]

Anonymous said...

tni [url=http://www.plavixbuynow.net/#generic-plavix-no-prescription ]discount plavix [/url] - plavix without prescription - buy plavix http://www.plavixbuynow.net/#generic-clopidogrel ,

Anonymous said...

tni buy fluoxetine online - cheap prozac no prescription http://www.prozacbuynow.net/#buy-fluoxetine, [url=http://www.prozacbuynow.net/#buy-fluoxetine]fluoxetine no prescription [/url]

Anonymous said...

sob purchase neurontin - neurontin pills http://www.neurontinonlinesales.net/#neurontin-pills , [url=http://www.neurontinonlinesales.net/#gabapentin-sale ]gabapentin sale [/url]

Anonymous said...

stb buy tamoxifen citrate no prescription - nolvadex sale http://www.nolvadexspecialprice.net/#nolvadex-sale , [url=http://www.nolvadexspecialprice.net/#buy-tamoxifen-online ]buy tamoxifen online [/url]

Anonymous said...

3. azithromycin chlamydia - azithromycin online http://www.zithromaxfastorder.com/#azithromycin-online , [url=http://www.zithromaxfastorder.com/#buy-azithromycin-online ]buy azithromycin online [/url]

Anonymous said...

x90, sertraline without prescription - sertraline no prescription http://www.zoloftgenericsale.net/ - [url=http://www.zoloftgenericsale.net/]cheap zoloft no prescription [/url]

Anonymous said...

6, provigil no prescription - modafinil cost http://www.provigilonlinediscount.com/#provigil-no-prescription, [url=http://www.provigilonlinediscount.com/#order-provigil-online]provigil no prescription[/url]

Anonymous said...

6, order provigil - provigil no prescription http://www.provigilonlinediscount.com/#provigil-online-order, [url=http://www.provigilonlinediscount.com/#provigil-no-rx]provigil online order[/url]

Anonymous said...

ooo!!! Topamax Online - topamax online http://www.cheaptopamaxorder.net/#buy-topiramate, [url=http://www.cheaptopamaxorder.net/#buy-topiramate]Topamax No Prescription[/url]

Anonymous said...

ooo!!! Topamax Online - buy topiramate online http://www.topamaxbestonline.net/#generic-topiramate, [url=http://www.topamaxbestonline.net/#generic-topiramate]Topamax Online[/url]

Anonymous said...

ooo!!! Topamax Cost - topamax for migraines http://www.topamaxbestonline.net/#order-topamax, [url=http://www.topamaxbestonline.net/#order-topamax]Buy Topamax[/url]

Anonymous said...

ooo!!! Topamax For Sale - buy topiramate online no prescription http://www.cheaptopamaxorder.net/#topamax-online, [url=http://www.cheaptopamaxorder.net/#topamax-online]Topamax For Sale[/url]

Anonymous said...

ooo!!! Topamax For Sale - buy topamax online no prescription http://www.cheaptopamaxorder.net/#topamax-for-sale, [url=http://www.cheaptopamaxorder.net/#topamax-for-sale]Topamax For Sale[/url]

Anonymous said...

2013 cheap lorazepam 2mg - cheap lorazepam http://www.ativanonlinenorx.net/#ativan-cost, [url=http://www.ativanonlinenorx.net/#ativan-online-pharmacy]cheap lorazepam 2mg[/url]

Anonymous said...

2013 prednisolone no prescription - prednisolone online http://www.prednisoneonlinerx.net/index.html, [url=http://www.prednisoneonlinerx.net/index.html]prednisolone without prescription [/url]

Anonymous said...

2, buy meridia - cheap meridia http://www.meridiaforyourdiet.net/#sibutramine-diet-pills, [url=http://www.meridiaforyourdiet.net/#sibutramine-diet-pills]reductil sale[/url]

Anonymous said...

g, Biology Project - http://www.onlinewritinghelp101.com/biology.html#biology-project, [url=http://www.onlinewritinghelp101.com/biology.html#biology-online]Biology Project[/url]

Anonymous said...

g, buy isotretinoin online - cheap accutane http://www.freeyogablog.com/#cheap-accutane , [url=http://www.freeyogablog.com/#accutane-no-prescription ]accutane no prescription [/url]

Anonymous said...

c, neurontin for sale - buy gabapentin without prescription http://www.neurontinonlinesales.net/, [url=http://www.neurontinonlinesales.net/]neurontin online[/url]

Anonymous said...

c, lasix for sale - buy lasix without rx http://www.cheaplasixforsale.net/, [url=http://www.cheaplasixforsale.net/]lasix sale[/url]

Anonymous said...

Hi, buy soma online without rx - soma online no rx http://www.tvepisodesfreeonline.com/, [url=http://www.tvepisodesfreeonline.com/]order soma online no prescription [/url]

Anonymous said...

Hi, buy klonopin online - klonopin online http://hernanicardoso.com/#klonopin-cost, [url=http://hernanicardoso.com/#klonopin-sale]order generic klonopin [/url]

Anonymous said...

Hi, order imitrex no prescription - buy sumatriptan without prescription http://www.degordoagalan.com/#imitrex-sale, [url=http://www.degordoagalan.com/#buy-sumatriptan]order sumatriptan online [/url]

Anonymous said...

Hi, carisoprodol no prescription - buy soma without prescription http://knowwizard.com/, [url=http://knowwizard.com/]order soma [/url]

Anonymous said...

4, provigil for sale online - provigil sale http://www.provigilonlineoffer.net/, [url=http://www.provigilonlineoffer.net/]provigil medication [/url]

Anonymous said...

4, provigil for sale - generic provigil cost http://www.energyofprovigil.net/#provigil-for-sale, [url=http://www.energyofprovigil.net/#cheap-modafinil]provigil online pharmacy[/url]

Anonymous said...

4, buy strattera - atomoxetine online http://www.stratterabenefits.net/#generic-strattera, [url=http://www.stratterabenefits.net/#strattera-sale]buy strattera[/url]

Anonymous said...

1, [url=http://www.lunestabenefits.net/]Generic Lunesta [/url] - Cheap Lunesta - buy lunesta online http://www.lunestabenefits.net/.

Anonymous said...

1, [url=http://www.onlinecelebrexdeal.net/]Cheap Celebrex[/url] - Celebrex Online Pharmacy - celecoxib cost http://www.onlinecelebrexdeal.net/.

Anonymous said...

1, [url=http://www.onlinecelebrexdeal.net/]Celebrex Online Pharmacy[/url] - Celebrex Online Pharmacy - order celebrex no prescription http://www.onlinecelebrexdeal.net/.

Anonymous said...

2, [url=http://www.cymbaltarxonline.net/]Cheap Cymbalta[/url] - Cost of Cymbalta - generic cymbalta no prescription http://www.cymbaltarxonline.net/.

Anonymous said...

aaa!!! buy zyprexa online - buy olanzapine http://www.onlinepharmdeals.com/zyprexa/, [url=http://www.onlinepharmdeals.com/zyprexa/]buy olanzapine online [/url]

Anonymous said...

Hi, buy generic provigil - cheap provigil online http://www.provigilpills4sale.com/, [url=http://www.provigilpills4sale.com/]modafinil cost [/url]

Anonymous said...

Li, fluoxetine cost - prozac online http://www.prozacorder365.net/, [url=http://www.prozacorder365.net/]generic prozac[/url]

Anonymous said...

Hi, accutane sale - cheap isotretinoin http://www.americanbullyidolshow.com/, [url=http://www.americanbullyidolshow.com/]accutane sale[/url]

Anonymous said...

4, Lunesta Cost - lunesta price http://www.lunestasleepaid.net/, [url=http://www.lunestasleepaid.net/] Lunesta Price [/url]

Anonymous said...

order acomplia online - buy acomplia online http://www.acompliadietbenefits.net/, [url=http://www.acompliadietbenefits.net/]order acomplia online[/url]

Anonymous said...

cheap celebrex - buy celebrex without prescription http://www.celebrexonlinesale.net/, [url=http://www.celebrexonlinesale.net/]cheap celebrex[/url]

Anonymous said...

2, [url=http://www.elainelok.com/]Order Accutane[/url] - Order Accutane - isotretinoin online pharmacy http://www.elainelok.com/ .

Anonymous said...

6, [url=http://www.cheapzoloftrx.net/] Order Zoloft Online [/url] - Cheap Sertraline - buy zoloft without prescription http://www.cheapzoloftrx.net/ .

Anonymous said...

6, [url=http://www.isotretinoinonlinerx.net/]isotretinoin no prescription [/url] - isotretinoin without prescription - buy cheap accutane http://www.isotretinoinonlinerx.net/.

Anonymous said...

6, [url=http://www.isotretinoinonlinerx.net/] Isotretinoin Online [/url] - Accutane Cost - generic isotretinoin http://www.isotretinoinonlinerx.net/ .

Anonymous said...

6, [url=http://www.costofeffexor.net/]Effexor Online[/url] - Buy Venlafaxine Online - effexor online pharmacy http://www.costofeffexor.net/

Anonymous said...

11, [url=http://www.acomplia20mgonline.com/]generic rimonabant [/url] - where can i buy acomplia online - buy generic acomplia http://www.acomplia20mgonline.com/.

Anonymous said...

11, [url=http://www.klonopinforsaleonline.com/]klonopin no prescription [/url] - buy clonazepam online no prescription - order klonopin online no prescription http://www.klonopinforsaleonline.com/.

Anonymous said...

14, [url=http://www.autobankla.com/] Cheap Effexor [/url] - Effexor No Prescription - buy venlafaxine no prescription http://www.autobankla.com/ .

Anonymous said...

17, [url=http://www.39hairloss.com/]cost of propecia [/url] - buy propecia no prescription - cheap propecia online http://www.39hairloss.com/.

Anonymous said...

17, [url=http://www.francescresswelsing.com/]Provigil Sale[/url] - Buy Provigil - modafinil online http://www.francescresswelsing.com/ .

Anonymous said...

17, [url=http://www.wheelrepairlasvegas.net/]Prozac Online[/url] - Fluoxetine Online - fluoxetine online http://www.wheelrepairlasvegas.net/ .