I’d like to share all the details of my vacation with you but due to tequila circumstances beyond my control … I’m grateful I still have these memories.
Domenica: "So, did you get some Pesos?"
Me: "Yep, I think I’ve got about 723, 471 Pesos."
Domenica: "What! How much did you give them?"
Me: "In dollars?"
Domenica: "What the hell! Did I miss a layover in China where you picked up some yen?"
Domenica: "I can’t believe we’re doing food shopping."
Me: "I can’t believe we’re doing it here in a Mexican Wal-Mart."
Domenica: "We’ll, we do have a kitchen. We may as well cook some meals."
Me: "It’s the least we can do, they did give us the best bedroom."
Domenica: ”What’s with Don?"
Me: "I’m not sure … It kind of looks like … he’s had a couple."
Son-in-Don: "Wooooo Hoooo! Free tequila and rum samples in aisle five!"
Domenica: "I hate wearing this wrist band."
Me: "Honey, ignore it. It’s for our discounts and our two-for-one drinks."
Domenica: "Yeah, but I feel like it’s choking me."
Me: "It’s on you freekin’ wrist!"
Domenica: "I ain’t wearing it!"
Me: "I need a margarita."
Domenica: "Good, you have on your wrist band that means we get two."
Me: "But I want two … You make me need two margaritas."
Domenica: "Then ask for two! They'll give you four. And hurry up, I’m thirsty!"
Me: "Honey, aren’t you excited, this is our first time snorkeling."
Domenica: "Yeah, that’s what I am, excited."
Me: "I think I have this mask on correctly, I’m going in."
Domenica: "You go ahead, I’m right behind you."
Me (Coming up and pulling out my mouthpiece): "Wow! OMG! Look! Right under this pier … tons of fish."
Domenica wearing her mask, sticks her face into the water…)
Domenica: "Yep! Fish! Well, I had enough!"
Me: "Now there’s money well spent."
Domenica: "Hey, this trip does include all you can drink. Amanda! Margaritas!"
Amanda: "You don’t have to ask me twice!"
Jimmy: "Are you paying for that in pesos or dollars?"
Me: "I don’t know. I need my cheat sheet."
Jimmy: "Just multiply by ten. If it’s 50 pesos then give them $5.00 … they’ll like you because you really gave them more than 50 pesos."
Me: "I think I got it. So, I’d really be giving them a little extra."
(Later in the week…)
Me: "I don’t think that waiter likes us."
Domenica: "Why, you’ve been tipping them good, haven’t you?"
Me: "Of course, every day, Jimmy taught me to give them a little more."
Domenica: "So what did you give him the last time?"
Me: "I definitely remember giving him five pesos."
Jimmy: "Good work! You gave him 33 cents."
Me: "Wow! Coco Bongos is awesome."
Domenica: "Yeh … This table is great!"
Me: "I’ll have a beer and a shot of tequila please!"
Domenica: "Same for me."
Me (looking up and pointing to the sexy blonde dancing on the bar): "Have the camera ready, I’m gonna be up there dancing with her."
Domenica (looking up at the bar): "Oh, are you?"
Me: "Hey! Wait! I was only kidding. Where are you going?"
Me: "Let’s get some snacks before we board."
Domenica: "Oh, good idea, Carla’s already in line."
(At the airport store)
Carla: "Hurry, I’m next in line. Give those to me."
Me: "I’ll have this, this, these, this and she’ll have those."
Store Clerk: "That will be $44.50 please."
Me: "Huh. Wait. These Mexican nuts must be expensive. I’m putting these back."
Store Clerk: "That will be $37.00 please."
Carla: "Don’t look at me, I only have this water."
Me: "Huh? Crap! Okay, I’m putting these back too, and this."
Store Clerk: "That will be $34.00 please."
Me: "What? Okay, okay, just pay it!"
Domenica: "What the hell did you buy?"
Me: "Carla, let me see the receipt … three waters, M&Ms, GummyBears … Planter’s Nuts ..."
Domenica: "Why you looking at me?"
Me: "That small can of Planter’s Nuts was $14.00!"
Domenica: "Well, they are imported you know."
Domenica: "Joe, you have the key, right?"
Me: "Yes. Right here. Ah, home sweet home."
Domenica: "Everything seems okay, just as we left it."
Me: "I’m hungry, is there anything in the fridge?"
Domenica: "Nope. Shall we order out?"
Me: "Might as well. Chinese?"
Domenica: "Sounds good, let’s go."
Restaurant clerk: "That will be $24.50 please."
Domenica: "Even with this?"
Me: "What! Now you’re wearing your 30% off wrist band?"
Domenica: "So, where are we going next year?"
