The Broken Grill

Today I plan on barbequing a couple of pieces of chicken.
Doesn’t the word barbeque look strange? It’s usually BBQ or Bar-B-Q.
In the first sentence I was going to write BBQing, but that didn’t look right.
Anyway ... before I put on my chef’s hat and light the grill, I would have to look into a problem my son-in-law experienced last week firing up the grill when I wasn’t at home. He said “I think something’s wrong, flames were coming out of the knobs”. OK, yep, sounds like something’s wrong.
So ... as I do with most unfamiliar tasks since the late 90’s … I seek help on the Internet. This should be easy … let me think … how should I start?
“ALLLL ABOARD!!!! We’re about to ride My Brain Train” (Click.)
Searching for BBQ Grill repairs brought me to an About.com article on ... BBQ Grill repairs … so far so good. First thing … disconnect the propane tank or it can explode … Oh oh … better learn more about propane. Did you know that propane gas is the primary fuel for hot air balloons? (Click.) I find hot air balloon travel a bit scary. (Click.) A “Cloud Hopper” is a one-person hot air balloon where the pilot sits in a harness or small seat instead of a wicker basket (which isn’t much of a safe compartment to begin with unless you’re a picnic lunch.) There is often a propane tank behind the pilot's back, and the burner is on a frame above the pilot's head. (I’m going up now … throw a steak on my neck.) (Click.) Cluster ballooning is when someone ties a whole bunch of helium party balloons to a harness, straps it on and floats away, like in the cartoons. To come down one simply pops a ballon or two … oh … and they take bottled water with them so as they decend they spill out some water to slow themselves by becoming less heavy. Does someone cluster ballooning know the gravity of defying gravity? Gravity is our friend. It’s what keeps us from floating away in the first place. It’s what keeps our BBQ food on our plates. Without it nobody would come back if they jumped … no jumping up and down … just jumping up.
You know what I haven’t seen in a long, long time … Mexican jumping beans. (Click.) You know ... they didn’t actual jump, but they did jerk about and roll around. (Click.) Inside a thin shelled seed was some crazy moth that continually ran around inside smashing itself against the walls causing its movement. (Click.) The Atlas moth is the largest of all moths with a wing span between 10 to 12 inches. Yikes! Imagine that one fluttering about your porch light!
Hmmm … light? Something about light? (Back click. Back click. Back click.) Oh yeah, I was going to try to light the grill. Awww ... Forget it! ... I’ll just order a pizza.
“All those who’ve had enough better get off the Brain Train ... Next stop ... Nicky’s Pizza.”