“Dad, why do you have the TV so loud?”
“Sorry, that’s you mother. She can’t hear a thing.”
“Uhm? Dad … Ma’s not even here right now.
I blame it on Led Zeppelin.
My hearing is shot! It had to be from all the rock concerts I attended back in the late sixties and early seventies. My wife’s hearing is just as bad. Honest. Sometimes a normal conversation between us sounds very much like a shouting match. When we watch TV the volume is always up. It’s one of the major reasons we do our best to isolate ourselves in single-family dwellings rather than condos or apartments. We would definitely be voted off the island for noise pollution.
“Waitress! I would like to see a manager!”
“Hi, my name is Joe and I’m the manager on duty here tonight. Did you ask to see me?”
“I just want to say it is very noisy in your restaurant. All I can hear is that rock music. We just came back from a funeral.”
“Oh sir, I am very sorry. I’ll try turning up the volume and I will see what I can do about that back urinal right away.”
I often find myself nodding my head or fake giggling at some comment that I clearly did not hear. If they’re smiling … I’m smiling right back. If their not smiling … I’m asking for an audio replay.
If you were to check my DVR remote closely you’d discover that the rewind and play buttons are the most worn. The wife and I continuously go back to hear something over and over again until at least one of us got it. Truthfully, she’s worse.
“Joe! Stop what did she just say?”
“I’m not sure. Who knows? I didn’t catch it either.”
“Then play it back.”
“I’m sure it wasn’t so important. Do I have to?”
“Joe! Are you friggin’ watching this with me, or what? How can you enjoy this if you don’t know what’s going on? Now please play it back. I think she said she’s going to marry Kyle.”
“Fine! Give me the remote.”
Stop. Rewind. Fast Forward. Stop. Play.
“There! She said not to worry that she’ll carry that pile. And who the hell is Kyle anyway?”
So I was fortunate to grow up in Boston where many legends made their debuts. I saw Led Zeppelin in 1969 at a small club called The Boston Tea Party during their first US Tour. I also had the opportunity to see them as a “super group” each year they returned to Boston. One time I even had first row tickets on the floor when they played at the Boston Garden. It was a far out groovy scene, man! I left that night wearing Plant and Page sweat.
“Joe! I'll be right back. I'm driving to the store.”
That's my wife. She's upstairs yelling that someone's arriving at the door so I have to go. But first, Check this out.
If you like Led Zeppelin and you like The Beatles and you like the song Stairway to Heaven … then you may like this ...
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Posted by Practically Joe at 12:00 PM