Monday, July 28, 2008

The Dryer Prep Pole


“Joe, What are you doing?”
“Uh, what’s it look like? I’m starting a load of laundry.”
Between you, and me, I don’t care what she thinks. When it comes to doing the laundry, my system works best. Over the years, although she won’t admit it, she has adopted many of my practices in dealing with the overflowing hamper. But still, she has her own ways that tend to aggravate me. I am practical. She is practically crazy.
Some things that we can’t agree on have resulted in her having her own dirty clothes bag where only her things go. It’s like her safety bag because I’m not allowed to wash anything that sits in it. It’s a rule. I can’t wash any of it. It’s like all her clothes are special or something.
“Don’t worry about the clothes tonight, Joe. I can do the laundry tomorrow.”
“It’s no problem dear, I’m down here on the computer anyway.”
Our laundry room is down in the basement in the same room as my office. So, it’s convenient for me to tend to the laundry while using the computer. We have our own little “Laundromat”. It consists of a washer, dryer, ironing board, folding table and a dryer prep pole. This has been the set up for the past fifteen years. Now you may be wondering, “what the heck is a dryer prep pole?” Well, let me explain. I invented it. That’s right, it was my idea not hers. You see, a long time ago we used an outdoor clothesline. What a pain in the neck that was. You had to lug the wet clothes to the bedroom window, which was located two floors above the laundryroom, and then, using clothespins, take each article of clothing and hang it out over the yard for the world to see. I hated it. There they were, her panties, my jockeys and the laughing neighbors. The clothes came back into the house smelling like “dog” and if it rained, sometimes you were lucky enough to quickly pull in semi-dried articles. If it rained and you weren’t lucky, you’d have to take the clothes back down to the machine and run them through the spin cycle again because they were soaked and so heavy the line stretched so low that the clothes were touching the ground.
Can you believe she still reminds me from time to time that I haven’t put up a new clothesline for her yet? So, using a wooden pole from an old closet and propping it up horizontally between two upright hat racks, I invented the “dryer prep pole”. I then convinced her that it was more practical to just take the clothes out of the washer, put them on hangers and hang them on the dryer prep pole. When they’re almost dry, we pop them into the dryer and add a softener sheet to fluff them up, take out the wrinkles and eliminate any future static electrical shock. Best of all the laundry comes out of the dryer not smelling like dog.
“Joe, you haven’t washed your new shirt yet, have you?”
“Don’t worry. All taken care of dear.”
When she does the laundry she annoys me because she makes things more difficult than they have to be. Like when she has to turn everything inside out before putting them into the washer and then she turns them back outside in before hanging them. I hate turning wet clothes from inside out to outside in. I’m not even sure if it is “outside in” because when you do it you’re really putting the outside back out. I get very confused. Then, she never hangs the clothes with the same amount of space between the hangers when she hangs them on the dryer prep pole. Some items touch making them take longer to dry. I have to continuously re-space them. She doesn’t make sure all the front of the shirts and pants face in the same direction. She doesn’t rotate the hangers for even wear. She hangs socks. Who hangs socks?
When I do the laundry, it’s done right!
“Joe, I just come down to say good night, I’m going to bed.”
“Okay hun, good night, I’ll be joining you as soon as I’m done down here.”
“Joe? Are those my new shorts hanging there? Why are they pink? They were white earlier today!”
“Uhm … what? Er … well I … uhm … huh?”

20 comments:

Heather said...

We have a similar system with a pole to hang clothes on for drying. Only in my house, I crack knuckles if anybody but me tries to do the laundry around here.

MJ said...

How many baseball caps do you have?

Midleah said...

Gotta love a domesticated male! ;)

nursemyra said...

I love hanging out washing and I have a fetish for smelling everything as i take it off the line when it's dry.

advantage of living in a mostly warm climate

Lil Sass said...

Hmm, this is a lovely energy-efficient way of drying and I agree with you, you're approach sounds best (except for that whole pink shorts episode). I am a firm believer that in every partnership, there's one that's better at laundry. People should just suck it up and LET that person do the laundry.

However, it sounds like you're on probation, mister!

The Youngest One said...

I took a picture of our laundry system but unfortunately I'm not as tech savy as you are dad....However, I wanted to let you know that I am a little apple because I too have my own laundry basket that Don CAN NOT TOUCH because they are my work clothes...I won't even wash a sock of his with my clothes! My clothes aren't snobby...They're just more expensive...and you know what happens when something gets damaged...I'll just have to buy more! Think of it that way! LOVE YOU

Bogart in P Towne said...

Fluff-n-Fold...that is all I have to say about that.

Queen Goob said...

I don’t use a dryer anymore. In the attempt at saving money, when my dryer threw a belt about two years ago, I just never fixed it. My electric bill went down about a hundred dollars a month.

However, I would be more than willing to pay to feed a laundry boy should one show up at my door wearing surfer shorts and a smile.

Random Chick said...

Be there or beware
http://wildonioncafe.blogspot.com/2008/07/be-there-or-beware.html

nursemyra said...

oh how cute, love "the youngest one's" comment

nursemyra said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Frogs in my formula said...

I just got off the phone with the WWF and had "domesticated man" removed from the endangered species list. Be still my heart!

Malicious Intent said...

Well there is the battle of the sexes over laundry in this house too. My husband's work clothes are painter pants and tshirts with real paint!
I work in an office, so my work clothes consist of skirts, slacks and blouses made of "delicate" materials.

I can understand the wife having a safe zone for her cloths.

Hubby: "Why are you buying more clothes, didn't you just buy clothes last month?"
Me: "Yes dear" as I hold up a tiny shirt and give him "the" look.
Hubby: "Why are you showing me #2's shirt??" (Number 2 being a very skinny 10 year old.)
Me: "How many times have you seen #2 wear a floral print with lace??"
Hubby: "What are you talking about?"
Me: "I have to buy MORE clothes each month because despite me begging, pleading for you to NOT touch my laundry...you still wash and DRY my delicates which shrink down to fit a small child or destroys the fabric, or you mix them in with your painting clothes where the stains come off of your shit and get baked into mine."

Now mind you, I LOVE the fact that he wants to help and is domesticated. But I cannot tell you how many times that coversation has taken place, other than a lot.

Back to you: I think after reading this, you may have a tad bit of OCD. Best go and get checked that out. ;)

moooooog35 said...

This exact shit is why I stick to wearing only thongs.

Preposterous Ponderings said...

You so have to come to my house and do my laundry.

Practically Joe said...

Heather: I crack knuckles if anybody but me tries to do the laundry around here.
Me: That's how Sister Mary St. John kept me in check. That damn ruler. Both of them!

mj: How many baseball caps do you have?
Me: About 25 caps for my head ... and so far no gangsta's put a cap in my ass.

Midleah: Gotta love a domesticated male! ;)
Me: Yep, we deserve a lotta lovin’

Nursemyra: I have a fetish for smelling everything
Me: Hmmmm. Do tell.

Lil sass: I am a firm believer that in every partnership, there's one that's better at laundry
Me: Thank you. I’ll tell my wife you think I do it better. Thank You!

Youngest One: I am a little apple because I too have my own laundry basket that Don CAN NOT TOUCH
Me: You certainly are your mother’s daughter (but with my sense of humor) … Poor Don.

Bogart: Fluff-n-Fold...that is all I have to say about that.
Me: Way to back me up, man.

Queen goob: I would be more than willing to pay to feed a laundry boy should one show up at my door wearing surfer shorts and a smile.
Me: The best I could do is … my speedo and a devilish grin.

Random chick: Be there or beware
Me: Thanks for the invite but I think I’ll be at work. Wait! Is that Eastern time?

Nursemyra: oh how cute, love "the youngest one's" comment>
Me: Nursie … you are soooo sweet to pick that up. You have been supportive of me since I started blogging. And don’t think I didn’t notice you “fueling my blog” … You were the only one. I could just kiss you … Wait! I will … SMACK!!!

Frogs in my formula: I just got off the phone with the WWF and had "domesticated man" removed from the endangered species list. Be still my heart!
Me: Your better half and I both thank you.

MI: I think after reading this, you may have a tad bit of OCD. Best go and get checked that out.
Me: You think??? No, really … OCD … no … I’m just overly particular.

Moooooog35: This exact shit is why I stick to wearing only thongs.
Me: Huh! You recently told me it was because you liked how it turns me on. Men!

Preposterous Ponderings: You so have to come to my house and do my laundry.
Me: Well … queen goob has me booked next week … how’s the week after? Oh … and let me know … speedo, briefs or boxers?

nursemyra said...

*blushing*

catscratch said...

You should patent the prep pole. You could be rich, man!

Practically Joe said...

Catscratch: You should patent the prep pole. You could be rich, man!
Me: It's a closet pole between two hat racks ... That would be silly to try to patent th... Wait! ... I could be rich? Where's that lawyer's number ...

just a girl... said...

pink shorts are hot.