Friday, November 7, 2008

Hanging in My Closet

"Good morning, Joe. Are you here to pick up?"
"Well, no, I am not. I picked up yesterday. But I do have a question."
Apparently, I have a problem.
No … not with my dry cleaners.
Mine is a mental problem, or so I’m led to believe.

"So, how can I help you, Joe? What is your question?"
“Can you tell me if the shirts I picked up yesterday were dry cleaned or laundered?”
"Sure, Joe. Just give me a second and I’ll look it up."
I usually have my shirts laundered instead of dry-cleaned.
I get them on a hanger and lightly starched.

“Joe, I checked and they were laundered as you like them.”
"They were? Hmmmmm … that’s odd."
"Odd, Joe, how so?”
So I explained.
When I took the newly cleaned shirts home and went to hang them with my other clean shirts, they were facing in the wrong direction. My shirts all get hung with the open part of the hanger hook facing the back wall of my closet making the fronts of all my shirts face to the right. The newest bunch all faced to the left. I could face the newest shirts to the right but then the hangers would be hooked on the closet rod toward me instead of towards the back wall like all the rest of the hangers in my closet including the ones holding my pants, sweaters and tee shirts.

And yes, I hang my tee shirts. Not the tee shirts I wear under my dress shirts, those are folded neatly and placed in the right forward corner of the second draw down of my dresser. The tee shirts in my closet are the ones that have words and pictures on them. The fronts of all those tee shirts face to the left (but that’s because they hang on the right side of the closet pole.) My wife has a difficult time hanging and facing my tee shirts properly when she pulls them from the clothes dryer. I often have to reverse them on the hangers before I bring them to my closet. I like to bring them up myself because she just hangs them wherever she finds room and sometimes with the hangers facing the wrong way making the fronts of the tee shirts face the wrong way and it all gets just too friggin’ confusing to me and stresses me out, then I complain and then she gets pissed and tells me I have a problem … but I don’t. I just like order … and I know she knows how to do it right so I accuse her of just trying to aggravate me and wonder what I did to deserve this stress and it goes right back to where she calls me nuts again. But I’m not!

"Joe, please, calm yourself."
"I’m sorry. So why are the shirts facing the wrong way?"
"Joe, we use two laundry companies. If you drop your shirts off on a Saturday, which you did, they go to a company that hangs them that way. I’m sorry, I will note that you don’t want them done by them anymore."
"You will? That would be great!"
"Anything else I can do for you, Joe?"
"Well, may I ask … Do many others complain when their shirts are hung in the wrong direction?"
"Actually, no Joe. You’re the only one."

Back at home, as I turn the six newly cleaned shirts around on their hangers to make everything right, I can’t help but ask myself …
"Hmmmm … I wonder if my wife put them up to this?"

25 comments:

MadWoman said...

And here Hotty Hubby thought I was the only nut job that hung up t-shirts. I feel so vindicated. Not my problem that he'd rather just dump them crumpled into a drawer (or on the floor).

I think your wife totally put them up to it. Just to mess with your already confused head.

beeeeeeeee said...

Oh yes, she did. I do stuff like that to my hubby. Just to see what happens....

Ken said...

Joe, you are a strange man.....lmao
I think your wife might be on to something.

Deb said...

My mom irons my dad's jeans, creases down the middle. I suppose you do that too? I must confess, my clothes have to be hung all facing the same direction too, plus, pants at the left hand, shirts on the right end, empty hangers in the middle. It's the little things that make me happy.

Queen Goob said...

JOE!!!!! You're not doing it right!!! They're hanging in the right direction BUT they're NOT COLOR COORDINATED!!!! White to dark or dark to white. That yellow one way back there should be next to the tan that should be next to the white.

AAHHHH, I just burst a vein......

And WHAT is with the wire hangers? They allow for bumps in the shoulders. NO MORE WIRE HANGERS!!! All white plastic.

AAHHHH, I just burst another vein......

Mike said...

Dude, can we say paranoid. Do you think the dry cleaning industry is out to get you? And then lump your poor wife in with it. Damn man, do you have any scrupples?

Good Burp said...

Joe. I have 3 words for you.
O.
C.
D.

Cheers!

jay said...

You and OH would SO get along. LOL!

Practically Joe said...

madwoman: "And here Hotty Hubby thought I was the only nut job that hung up t-shirts."
me: I'm proud to be a nut-jobber just like you!

beeeeeeeee: "I do stuff like that to my hubby. Just to see what happens...."
meeeeeeeee: ah ... a model wife ... I hope he realizes how proud he should be.

ken: "Joe, you are a strange man"
me: ken ... I couldn't agree with you more.

deb: "I must confess, my clothes have to be hung all facing the same direction too, plus, pants at the left hand, shirts on the right end, empty hangers in the middle.
me: Are we the oddballs or is it those who have no order in their lives?
Okay ... maybe we have too much order.
Or maybe they have not enough order.
I don't have time to think about this right now ... I have to go iron my underwear and sox.

queen goob "And WHAT is with the wire hangers? They allow for bumps in the shoulders. NO MORE WIRE HANGERS!!! All white plastic."
me: queen ... please ... don't burst another vein!
I use the plastic hangers on things laundered in house.
Do you want me to change the hangers on all my colthes that come back from the cleaners?
I find the plastic hangers a bit bulky and I rotate use on all my shirts so none of them stay hung too long.
My pants need the wire hangers with the non skid tube thingy ... I wouldn't want them sliding off or over to the end of the hanger ruining the crease.
But I'll think about your suggestions.

mike: "Do you think the dry cleaning industry is out to get you?"
me: Mike ... their trying to kill us with their cleaning chemicals and plastic wrap and their wire hangers ... so yes ... yes I do.

good burp: "Joe. I have 3 words for you."
O.
C.
D.
me:
O.bvious
C.orrect
D.escription

Jay: "You and OH would SO get along. LOL!
Me: I'm sure you are right in saying so ... but ...
Is OH ... Ohio? ... Other Husband? ... Oh Henry?
Could OH be YS?
Will OH be available if my wife dumps me?

Practically Joe said...

madwoman ... are you a blogger?
I'd like to see your wares.
No ... I'm not being fresh.

Heather said...

Joe, you're so funny...
I ang all my tshirts up too. And they all have to face the same direction. I am surprised though that you leave them on the wire hangers from the dry cleaners. I do my own laundry, but I hate those wire hangers with a passion.

Practically Joe said...

heather "I do my own laundry, but I hate those wire hangers with a passion."
me They come from the cleaners ... I wear the shirt ... I send the hangers back with my dirty shirts. Those wire ones come and go.

xyu95 said...

i just throw all of mine in a big pile. i have the dirty pile and my clean pile. saves on closet space

nursemyra said...

are you a Virgo?

Anonymous said...

How about hanging from a ladder?

I bet you are practically sore...???

Queen Goob said...

Joe? You there? You taking a Queen Goob sabbatical and failed to let us know?

You guys okay?

Joe?

B-Dog said...

And here I thought I was the only person who sweated stuff like this...I feel better now. ;-)

My own latest crisis, BTW, is that I'm completely *out* of hangers. (I almost wrote "hangars," but I think that would mean that I'm out of places to store the airplanes that I don't own.)

Malicious Intent said...

I am with good burp, ocd. And they have medication for that these days ya know. You would have a stroke if you saw my closet. I probably could lose a small child in there with no trouble at all.

Bogart in P Towne said...

They have medication to treat that.

kylie said...

hey joe
when are you gonna post again?

Practically Joe said...

xyu95:
nursemyra:
anonymous:
queen goob:
b-dog:
malicious intent:
Bogart:
kylie:


On behalf of Rodney, the Practically Wisdom Blog Team would like you to know that he greatly appreciates your comments and thoroughly enjoys responding to them.

Unfortunately Rodney, sorry, I mean Joe, has been heavily sedated for a long period of time now, following an accident which left him with two broken ribs and a number of minor injuries.

He has been coming along fine and asked the team to post an account of the incident, which went up today.

We have great expectations that he shall return soon, as good as new.

He wishes you all a Great Thanksgiving.

Thank You.
The Practically Wisdom Blog Team.

catscratch said...

I thought my man was the only one who fusses about things in the closet all facing the right way.

I learned after we got married that if something isn't turned the right way it sends him into fits.

Formerly Fun said...

Joe, you need your shirts facing a certain way? You my friend are one period away from being a woman.

By the way, feel better and try not to break anything else.

just a girl... said...

can you say OCD much

just a girl... said...

can you say OCD much