Monday, May 19, 2008

Pow! We Deliver

"Joe, can we get an order of scallion pancakes?"
Sure honey, those skinny thin crusty things filled with fake onions sounds yummy. I’ll order them for you. I’m gonna have the greasy, spicy spareribs, the kind where you don’t even have to mess with a bone. Dip them in the sweet sauce, then dunk them in the hot yellow stuff …. Mmmm mmmm … I love that “up your nose almost making you have to sneeze feeling!”
"Okay Joe … I’ve decided … I’ll have the fried tofu with vegetables in the spicy pepper sauce."
Wow, my wife’s living on the edge today. She chose something with the word “fried”. Okay … let’s see … I should order something that has some veggies. Veggies are supposed to be good for you. What’s with the chop suey, and the chow mein and then subgum? Does it mean the veggies are chewy? Oh geez, forget the veggie idea. Hmmmm … moo shi … no that has those water lily flowers in it, who knows if some frog crapped on them. Forget the poo-poo platter, I like what’s on it but I just can’t get past the name. Moo Goo Guy pan … cows and guy goo in a pan? … I don’t think so!
"Joe!!! You going to pick something or what???"
Yeah, yeah, sit tight in your rickshaw will ya honey, I’m deciding already.
"Joe, you know I have 20-20 hearing, don’t get smart with me. Pick something, I’m starving."
“Sorry honey.” (I have to stop thinking so loud.) Where was I? Szechuan, Polynesian, Hunan, Human? Wonton, don’t wantton? Pork this, pork that? Lo mein, high mein? Kun Pow …. “POW!!!” Hey! That hurt!
”Forget it! I’m making a salad.”
Oh great. Veggies.


Dorky Dad said...

In my house, I'm always the one who orders quickly and gets annoyed that my wife can't think of anything. Worse, sometimes my wife says, "pick something for me." How the heck am I supposed to know what she wants?

PracticallyJoe said...

When she tells you to "pick something for her" ... that's when you get to try the dish you always wanted to try but was to afraid you wouldn't like it.