Monday, December 15, 2008

Getting in the Holiday Spirit

It’s Sunday. It’s my day off.
While having my coffee, I visited some of my favorite blogs.
Suddenly I was feeling some Christmas spirit.
It happened while visiting Bee’s Musings.
She had organized a “Secret Santa Can Suck It!” community blog. Check it out! What a fun idea.
I felt invigorated. I was ready to confront my Christmas time duties. I agreed to do some Christmas shopping with my wife.
This made her happy.

First … because we needed a tree and my wife’s car has the biggest trunk, we decided to take her car. Inside the car …
"Joe, where are we going first?"
"Well, what’s on our list?"

I formulated a plan …
My walk around inspection of my wife’s vehicle alerted me to the fact that two of her tires were under-inflated. From the driver’s seat I immediately noticed that she needed gas. First stop would be a service station along our route.
We arrived at our first stop, filled her up and waited for the “FREE” air pump.
There was a car at the air pump and there seemed to be a problem. There were two women seeming to have difficulties. I watched as they took the air hose and proceeded to feed it through the driver’s door. I was perplexed. We were now waiting at the pump for 12 minutes to use the air hose. I wondered what could be wrong as I eyed one of the women re-enterer the gas station. I followed her in. She informed the clerk that the hose might be frozen so they ran it inside their vehicle and turned up the heat.
The clerk said … ”Huh?” (In his defense … it was 50 degrees outside.) She then said to the clerk …
"Look, something is wrong, Instead of filling our tire it took all the air out of it and now it’s flat."
Seeing the confused look on the clerk’s face, I stepped in and told the clerk not to worry … I will try to help the woman. This made the woman happy. (as well as the clerk)
What I found was that the women were not holding down the “start” button long enough for the air compressor to start. They allowed all the air to escape from their tire wile holding the non-operative nozzle down on the valve so all the air escaped. I properly started the compressor and filled their tire. I was their hero.
They obviously thought I was hot and the left smiling and very, very thankful.
My wife was not at all impressed.
I’m not even sure she was aware of what was going on … she was on her cell phone. I filled her tires and we proceeded to the mall.

At the mall, I immediately asked one of those mall cops on a Segway scooter for directions. He moved back and forth while studying his pocket map.
My wife commented … "I’d like one of those."
I made a mental note, but then quickly erased it as I pictured her on one.
At the first store, one that sold baby clothes, we had our first argument, which resulted in me waiting outside the shop. I people watched and had much fun.

We proceeded to the next mall where I was going to visit a watch repair shop owned by a guy who owed me money. (Maybe a story for another time.)
I replaced a battery on one watch and added a new watchband to another, absolutely free.
BOO-YA! ”Who knows how to shop, baby?”
Again, my wife was not impressed.

Next … It was off to Lowes. Why Lowes? I had a $10 off coupon.
That would make our Christmas tree cost $10 less.
Do I know how to shop or what!
Alas … They were all sold out.

Well … I guess we’ll head home.
Yeah right!
"I know a place we can buy a tree."
I followed her lead which took us off my planned route.
We purchased a “Charlie Brown” special for $25.

Well … I guess NOW we can head home.
"Joe, I’d really like a Dunkin’ Donuts coffee."
Of course! Without fail, anytime we hit the road, for whatever reason, she wants to stop for coffee along the way. I think she does it purposely to aggravate me.
Nah! She wouldn’t do that. Would she?

We finally made it home.
Shortly after our arrival our youngest and her husband came by to finish the job I had started when I fell and broke my ribs. Gratefully, my wife and I helped them.
I had to retrieve the notorious ladder out of the shed for them.
"Hello, Mr. Ladder, remember me?"
I swear Mr. Ladder chuckled.

So, that was my Sunday, my day off.
I hope you enjoyed it half as much as I did.
Soon, I should find out who I have as my “Secret Santa”.
Though I’m not a big fan of memes and such, I’m really looking forward to participating in Bee’s, “Secret Santa Can Suck It!” extravaganza.
I wonder who will get me as their Secret Santa? … Stay tuned.

10 comments:

Ken said...

Oh Joe you lucky man, how I wish that was me running around from shop to shop,,,,,NOT!!! But hey at least the ladder work got done. I was wondering what had happened to it. Thanks for clearing it up.

just bob said...

My trip would have included a Dunkin' Donuts stop at the beginning and then again at the end. Can you tell I miss New England?

nursemyra said...

you have cops on segways? how cool!

Malicious Intent said...

YOu are going to Bee's but not even try my challenge/meme...whatever the hell they are.

I was glad to see you being nice to Mr. Ladder. I think the chuckle was more of an acknowledgement that you two can be friends without involving the local medical establishments or repair shops. Good show!

Also, my condolences for having to go to not one but TWO malls. HATE THEM. When younger, I worked in a mall for 15 years, 15 years of surviving the holiday rush in one the largest money making malls on the east coast. Us having tax free shopping means we get our populations plus all of the states bording towns such as in Maryland, Pennsylvania and Jersey.

Why do you keep running into women in public that are so clueless that they cannot breathe on their own without written instructions. Not to many decent catches up there I suppos (Your wife excluded of course. I don't want you wearing her hot coffee.)

Queen Goob said...

BOO-YA! ”Who knows how to shop, baby?”

JOE DOES!!!!

Bee said...

I have only gone to stores regarding my tree this season, first to buy it then to return the stand that made it fall then to buy another much cheaper stand that held it up and not sideways.
The hubs and I usually split up at the stores so he can do one thing while I do another. This never works since he can never find what he's looking for so I have to help him anyway. I'd go alone but I hate driving.

We are the perfect pair, it would seem.

Jay said...

OH most often ends up outside the shops waiting for me to emerge, but I've never, ever heard him say he's had 'much fun'! What's your secret?

How are the ribs now?

xyu95 said...

i told your sectret santa that you need a new ladder.

Practically Joe said...

Ken: "at least the ladder work got done. I was wondering what had happened to it. Thanks for clearing it up."
Me: It got done a few weeks late ... but before any snow ... expecting about a foot of snow tomorrow.

just bob: "My trip would have included a Dunkin' Donuts stop at the beginning and then again at the end.
just me: You would drive me twice as crazy. I like to know where I'm going and just go!

nursemyra "you have cops on segways? how cool!"
me: This one was just a "mall" cop ... but I guess they count.

malicious: "Why do you keep running into women in public that are so clueless that they cannot breathe on their own without written instructions."
me: Yes ... they're just drawn to me ... I guess I appear to be just as clueless

Practically Joe said...

Queen Goob: "BOO-YA!” Who knows how to shop, baby?”
JOE DOES!!!!

me: You are very perceptive.

Bee: "The hubs and I usually split up at the stores so he can do one thing while I do another."
me: No wonder why you guys do so well together.

Jay: "OH most often ends up outside the shops waiting for me to emerge, but I've never, ever heard him say he's had 'much fun'!"
me: I have fun people watching. The mall attracts all types.
BTW ... The ribs are doing great ... Very little pain (most of the time)

xyu95: "i told your sectret santa that you need a new ladder."
me: Well aren't you the helpful one.